“In expert tennis, 80% of the points are won, while in amateur tennis, 80% are lost. The same is true for wrestling, chess, and investing: Beginners should focus on avoiding mistakes, experts on making great moves.”
I’m always won over by a good tennis quote. Growing up across the street from a slew of courts, with an Australian mother, will do that to man. Many times in attempting to learn a new craft, like picking up women for example, I’ll fall back on good ole’ tennis analogies. Now, I’m not saying everyone should go out and buy the idiot’s guide to tennis and religiously study tapes of Roger Federer, (Actually, scratch that, everyone should watch Roger Federer, cause he’s a freakin’ artist on the court, but I digress.) The reason I choose tennis is I began playing the game at the age of 8. At 14, I began playing competitively on a men’s team my father was captain of. My first year I played 4th doubles (the worst position) and lost every match. My final year on the team, as a strapping 22 year old armed with hours and hours of real match play, I went undefeated from the 1st singles position, the best.
I grounded my intellect and ability improve a craft in the sport of tennis. I’ve been defeated countless times demoralizing fashions on a tennis court. At times I’ve wanted to throw out my racquet and quit the game for good. Conversely, I’ve been down big, calmed myself down, tweaked my strategy, and come back from seemingly insurmountable deficits to win. Pretty much the entire range of emotions/mentally trying situations one can be put in in a competitive environment, I’ve experienced in the name of trying to defeat another human being on the other side of the court.
Now, being new to cold approaching random women on the streets and starting fresh is an incredibly difficult, scary, and unnatural thing to do for most. My first sets consisted of me mostly stalking around, talking to one girl, then wanting to run away almost immediately. However, I had had those frustrating feeling of demoralization before… on the tennis court. I knew how tough it was to first get the skills, then get the experience and mental fortitude to actually win (two entirely different skills). My first year of competitive tennis, I LITERALLY lost every match. I even had the kills, but not the match play experience.
Translating this to pick-up, I may have had some skills, such as my friends thinking I’m funny, interesting life experiences, and hobbies that I knew were of some interest. However, I had no FIELD experience (similar in this case to match experience) where I had to deal with all the other factors that come into play. When first learning pick-up, on those rough nights where nothing came to me, and it appeared women were placed on this simply to taunt me with what I would never had, I thought back to my days on the court. I DID in fact suck at tennis. A few years later, I eliminated the beginner mistakes, and I didn’t quite suck as much. I even won a few matches. Several years of winning about half my matches, I started to see the patterns of what would make me lose, and more importantly, how to win. A magical thing happened, as I eliminated my mistakes, I started to see how I could force my opponent into making them. I saw how I could set up a point for victory sometimes 3, 4 shots ahead of when the winner would come. Same day lays, arguably the pinnacle of what good game, are set up 3, 4 moves in advance. Mastery comes from seeing how the strings are pulled, which comes from hours and hours of time in the field, approaching women.
For anyone trying to learn to pickup women, it helps tremendously to think about a craft you believe yourself to have a handle on. It will help you during those low moments, and trust me, there WILL be low moments. It will keep you going, which is the most important thing in the beginning, and life in general. Baby steps, my friend, baby steps.
So, the quickest way to eliminate those beginner mistakes? ROUTINES! Yes, those scripted conversations that there exist thousands of on the internet. Why you may ask? Because they are PROVEN to get you laid. (as documented geeks get girls via www.bradp.com). Next week, I’ll explain to how to use them.