The Fallacy of Fearlessness

What landed me the job with Brad P. as a coach, asides from getting my student in the teaching section of the tryout laid, was the demeanor I possessed for my demo approaches. There was not a second of hesitation in them. I went in bold guns a blazing every time. In my boldness, I give off an air of “I can do anything”. I’ve gamed women enough that I know this is bar far the best approach, and it’s hardwired into at this point. Consequently, many descriptions of my game I’ve heard include something along the lines of “fearless in the approach”. This always comes as sort of a surprise to me.

When I begin to think back on the approaches I preformed in their presence, I then understand why they would make such a comment. Some of my approaches can get pretty wild, and I definitely have flamboyance to me. It’s not the validity of their statement that surprises me. The reason is, internally, me being fearless is the complete opposite of what’s really going on inside my head. Sometimes, I’m plain old scared shitless with my heart pounding a mile a minute. The difference between me and every other man on the street is that feeling never stops, but actually motivates me. It’s something I learned many years earlier, in a seemingly unrelated field.

I studied engineering in college. Coming into it, I was so completely filled with bravado. High school was a breeze, and I was assuming an engineering degree would be the same little thing I had to do between parties. As a result, I completely slacked my butt off, hung out all the time, and then acted surprise when I didn’t ace the test. In retrospect, it was a lesson. I had to learn about work ethic and the daily grind it takes to master something that not all can, and in the case of engineering many fail at.

Shortly after my sophomore I had a reckoning. I bombed out one semester, having my GPA dropped so severely that I lost my academic scholarship. Consequently, I had a complete fucking meltdown in self-confidence and belief in my own intelligence. The next semester was a struggle. The people who I thought I was smarter than, or at least on par with intellectually, were getting the high grades in tricky engineering classes I wasn’t. I feared that maybe I was not smart enough to crack engineering. I would call my dad when my particular freak out was overwhelming and I needed a calming voice. There was one line he would repeat on such occasions.

 

“A little bit of fear is a good thing, so long as it’s not paralyzing.”

 

It was exactly what I needed to hear, an ethos I now try to embrace in all pursuits my life has to offer. It was the exact advice needed in my state of uncertainty. During the struggle that was Junior, I completely dedicated all I had to regain my scholarship, drastically changing habits. My intent was clear as day. I became a regular at the library (a first), made consistent effort to comprehend and stay ahead of the HW, and bumped getting good grades to my #1 priority. As the grades started coming in, the grades slowly crept higher and higher. I began to gain momentum, I finally had what it took to prepare for finals period an appropriate amount. I nailed it, made deans for the first time ever, and managed to earn my scholarship back.

The fear of thinking I may not what it takes WAS the motivation I needed to completely overhaul my lifestyle. Ego and money were at stack, and I did not want to back down. I pondered long and deep that semester, and determined that if I was going to fail, it was not going to be for lack of effort.

I wouldn’t know the lasting effects of my efforts until months later, nor was any certainty that my change of strategy would work. I HAD to try though, for the other option, doing nothing, was unacceptable to me. It turned out that the fear of me not being good enough dwarfed in comparison to my fear of not putting in the effort to make the necessary changes to conquer this problem.

I made the deans list for the first time that semester, and more importantly, I had fundamentally rewired my brain with the strategies and protocols to get A’s in all my classes. If I didn’t receive an A, I could from that semester on pinpoint exactly why it didn’t happen. I would still feel the pressure as difficult tests loomed, but I knew the work that had to be done. I would make deans list 3 of my final 4 semesters.

When I see that perfect 10, or a group of 6 hotties, or any other difficult set for that matter, I still have butterflies in my stomach. Those butterflies I’m confident will never go away, as it is uncertain as to whether the approach will have any success to it. Fortunately, like with my grades, I KNOW what I have to do if I want the chance of success. I have to open bold, use my routines and material that work, and take a risk and commit to a strong aggressive approach as best I can. Experience taught me this is the price that must be paid to get these beautiful women in my bed. No amount of fear can trump this deep-seated truth I know about approaching women. It’s hard wired in me.

Thinking back to my coaching tryout, I was NERVOUS AS SHIT. A had a gaggle of brad P coaches observing my every approach, and I was explicitly told “If you start out in the field, and you do not approach well, we’re just going to end the tryout and not waste anyone’s time”. When I left the group for demo approach one, my heart was pounding. If 2 approaches in I was stopped and told I didn’t have what it takes to be a Brad P coach, my ego would be crushed.

Fortunately experience taught me what I had to do. First set I saw, I dove in head first, and used the very same material that’s worked and gotten me laid over and over and over again. I didn’t bat an eye, come in bold, guns a blazing, leaving everything I had on the table. It worked. Every set but one gave me their phone # that day, and I’m still dating one of my approaches from that day. My heightened state ended up having an effect of strengthening my approaches. The knowledge learned in my thousands of approaches hour after hour came through right when I needed it most.

The scary thing about starting a new endeavor is that you do not have the experience yet to know that there is going to even be a payoff your efforts. I had only hope and faith my first ever-cold approach. There will be fear, its inescapable for any pursuit worthwhile. What I fear most though is doing nothing, then nothing changing. Teddy Roosevelt said life favors the bold. The bold still experience fear, they just manage to rangle the wild bull that is fear, riding it to the glories of success.

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How To Create Your Own Material and Such

Much of mastering game is managing success and failures, and adjusting to such. Every experience in game generates data. In the generation of said data, there are kernels of truth that at that moment may be insignificant, but can prove useful in the most unexpected of moments. Essentially, we do not know what will work, until we try it numerous times, and suddenly, it works.

The importance to this is that significant data only comes in while dating live, with a hot girl in front of us, reacting either positively, negatively, or confused to the words streaming from out moths. This is different than listening to an audio recording, soliciting advice from a friend, or reading  a blog post (I’m perfectly willing to sacrifice my blog traffic in the name of you going out and chatting up more women. I know, I’m a hero). Game is matter of soliciting reactions, and observing the patterns of said reactions. In the deeper understanding of these patterns, we learn what was underlying cause of the positive reaction, and we do more of the good, and less of the bad. Game, then, is developed.

Routines are a very pure form of this idea. A new routine starts with a kernel of an idea, which then gets forged in the fire of hot women on friday and saturday nights. Think Louis C.K, who develops his material literally in front of an unsuspecting audience  As for me, the kernel of a routine began one weekend  where on 3 separate occasions gay black men started to hit on me, blowing smoke up my ass, and telling me how attractive I was. Though flattering, gay black men are far from my target market but hey, I thought, women would find this incredibly entertaining. So, naturally,I told every hot girl I tried to game about this. The initial reaction was they laughter. I would describe it to them, then say “apparently I’m their type, not sure why.” This seemed to tap into some, so I changed the hook question  “Have you ever discovered that your some specific demographics type? Apparently gay black men love me”, and I would continue the story. After about 5 to 10 tellings, one girl responded, “It’s because you have a big ass (Which, for the record, I do. Woman and gay men alike love my ass. Universally loved, It’s one of my best assets.) Not only did I find this observation completely astute, it was also hysterical. The next five girls I then told this story to, I would build up to “And you know why they love me? It’s because I have a phat ass” and the laughs got even harder. Hooray, the routine builds!

At this point, my routine is quite tight, and has made its way into my repertoire. Somewhere down line I  noticed however, that some women would take the phat ass line as queue to stare at my ass. It’s all about reading the signs gentlemen, and here I sensed opportunity. My next adjustment was to then, as I pontificate on my ass that is garnering all this attention, I turn around and show it off a little lifting my shirt. Now, we have a situation where I’m in a random bar, surrounded by  1-3 girls, me turned around, shirt lifted up, the women intently staring at my ass (Which, as I mentioned earlier, is quite nice). This is good.

The above is how I created a routine live, in front of girls, catered to girls. It was proven to work based of my own experience, then tweaked for maximum effect. By going through the process by actually talking to women, I was able to quickly and effectively make adjustments for maximum effect .

There exists thousands of hours worth of advice on “Do this and get women” “say this and you will get laid”, “blah blah blah blowjob” ect, ect. Some of it is good, sound advice, and conversely, some is complete bullshit. None of the advice matters unless applied in real time whilst gaming.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else says, if you are curious as to if something works, you HAVE to try it yourself and prove it. Give yourself multiple attempts to get the kinks out, and judge as to whether this new weapon in your arsenal is worth keeping.

One of my favorite moments is when I have a student use an opener they complete think will not work in the slightest, only then the girl becomes instantly hooked. The best example I can give is the horse girl opener. (Credit Brad P.) It goes “Hey, do you like horse? I thought so, check this out. I use to know this girl  in 6th grade that LOVED horses. She used to draw them all over her notebooks, bring my pretty ponies to class, and even gallop around acting like a horse. We used to call her the weird horse girl. And the thing is… you look JUST like her. [reponse]. Now, i have to say I’m sorry.I was one of the cool kids, and I used to make fun of the horse girl all the time. Now I’m older and more mature, and I feel horrible about it. Can you forgive me?” Cue hugs.

Now, this line seems outrageous to most when read, but I want to talk a minute about a former student Jeff. When I met Jeff, he had just gotten out of a 6 year relationship. Being a college relationship, he hadn’t had any real experience with game post the drunken frat party and other general college shenenigans. He was now in the lion’s that is NYC on Friday night.  Ready to throw his hat into the ring, he wanted a leg up on the compitition, and I was the man to give it to him. I taught him the horse girl line before we went out and, though sceptical, I convince Jeff to give it a try in the field.

We walk into the bar, and there stands a lone girl against a pillar, seemingly ripe for a studly young gentleman such as Jeff to approach her.  I sent him in without a moments notice with the horse girl line cocked and ready as his opener. First approach of the night, first real cold approach in 6 years, and first time using the horse girl line, Jeff was far from in his comfort .

3 minutes pass…and… Jeff is making out with this girl.

After the conversation, in the eyes I saw the look of a mind blown. It was a truly beautiful beautiful thing. Jeff perception of what is possible completely changed in that moment because real life experience trumped what he though intellectually would work. Game is developed by actually interacting with women in different ways, and seeing what works. Hiring a coach can help cut down on the experimentation time, expediting the process, but at the end of the day it’s still the student that must stop the girl, say the line, and seeing what happens.