The Fallacy of Fearlessness

What landed me the job with Brad P. as a coach, asides from getting my student in the teaching section of the tryout laid, was the demeanor I possessed for my demo approaches. There was not a second of hesitation in them. I went in bold guns a blazing every time. In my boldness, I give off an air of “I can do anything”. I’ve gamed women enough that I know this is bar far the best approach, and it’s hardwired into at this point. Consequently, many descriptions of my game I’ve heard include something along the lines of “fearless in the approach”. This always comes as sort of a surprise to me.

When I begin to think back on the approaches I preformed in their presence, I then understand why they would make such a comment. Some of my approaches can get pretty wild, and I definitely have flamboyance to me. It’s not the validity of their statement that surprises me. The reason is, internally, me being fearless is the complete opposite of what’s really going on inside my head. Sometimes, I’m plain old scared shitless with my heart pounding a mile a minute. The difference between me and every other man on the street is that feeling never stops, but actually motivates me. It’s something I learned many years earlier, in a seemingly unrelated field.

I studied engineering in college. Coming into it, I was so completely filled with bravado. High school was a breeze, and I was assuming an engineering degree would be the same little thing I had to do between parties. As a result, I completely slacked my butt off, hung out all the time, and then acted surprise when I didn’t ace the test. In retrospect, it was a lesson. I had to learn about work ethic and the daily grind it takes to master something that not all can, and in the case of engineering many fail at.

Shortly after my sophomore I had a reckoning. I bombed out one semester, having my GPA dropped so severely that I lost my academic scholarship. Consequently, I had a complete fucking meltdown in self-confidence and belief in my own intelligence. The next semester was a struggle. The people who I thought I was smarter than, or at least on par with intellectually, were getting the high grades in tricky engineering classes I wasn’t. I feared that maybe I was not smart enough to crack engineering. I would call my dad when my particular freak out was overwhelming and I needed a calming voice. There was one line he would repeat on such occasions.

 

“A little bit of fear is a good thing, so long as it’s not paralyzing.”

 

It was exactly what I needed to hear, an ethos I now try to embrace in all pursuits my life has to offer. It was the exact advice needed in my state of uncertainty. During the struggle that was Junior, I completely dedicated all I had to regain my scholarship, drastically changing habits. My intent was clear as day. I became a regular at the library (a first), made consistent effort to comprehend and stay ahead of the HW, and bumped getting good grades to my #1 priority. As the grades started coming in, the grades slowly crept higher and higher. I began to gain momentum, I finally had what it took to prepare for finals period an appropriate amount. I nailed it, made deans for the first time ever, and managed to earn my scholarship back.

The fear of thinking I may not what it takes WAS the motivation I needed to completely overhaul my lifestyle. Ego and money were at stack, and I did not want to back down. I pondered long and deep that semester, and determined that if I was going to fail, it was not going to be for lack of effort.

I wouldn’t know the lasting effects of my efforts until months later, nor was any certainty that my change of strategy would work. I HAD to try though, for the other option, doing nothing, was unacceptable to me. It turned out that the fear of me not being good enough dwarfed in comparison to my fear of not putting in the effort to make the necessary changes to conquer this problem.

I made the deans list for the first time that semester, and more importantly, I had fundamentally rewired my brain with the strategies and protocols to get A’s in all my classes. If I didn’t receive an A, I could from that semester on pinpoint exactly why it didn’t happen. I would still feel the pressure as difficult tests loomed, but I knew the work that had to be done. I would make deans list 3 of my final 4 semesters.

When I see that perfect 10, or a group of 6 hotties, or any other difficult set for that matter, I still have butterflies in my stomach. Those butterflies I’m confident will never go away, as it is uncertain as to whether the approach will have any success to it. Fortunately, like with my grades, I KNOW what I have to do if I want the chance of success. I have to open bold, use my routines and material that work, and take a risk and commit to a strong aggressive approach as best I can. Experience taught me this is the price that must be paid to get these beautiful women in my bed. No amount of fear can trump this deep-seated truth I know about approaching women. It’s hard wired in me.

Thinking back to my coaching tryout, I was NERVOUS AS SHIT. A had a gaggle of brad P coaches observing my every approach, and I was explicitly told “If you start out in the field, and you do not approach well, we’re just going to end the tryout and not waste anyone’s time”. When I left the group for demo approach one, my heart was pounding. If 2 approaches in I was stopped and told I didn’t have what it takes to be a Brad P coach, my ego would be crushed.

Fortunately experience taught me what I had to do. First set I saw, I dove in head first, and used the very same material that’s worked and gotten me laid over and over and over again. I didn’t bat an eye, come in bold, guns a blazing, leaving everything I had on the table. It worked. Every set but one gave me their phone # that day, and I’m still dating one of my approaches from that day. My heightened state ended up having an effect of strengthening my approaches. The knowledge learned in my thousands of approaches hour after hour came through right when I needed it most.

The scary thing about starting a new endeavor is that you do not have the experience yet to know that there is going to even be a payoff your efforts. I had only hope and faith my first ever-cold approach. There will be fear, its inescapable for any pursuit worthwhile. What I fear most though is doing nothing, then nothing changing. Teddy Roosevelt said life favors the bold. The bold still experience fear, they just manage to rangle the wild bull that is fear, riding it to the glories of success.

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How To Create Your Own Material and Such

Much of mastering game is managing success and failures, and adjusting to such. Every experience in game generates data. In the generation of said data, there are kernels of truth that at that moment may be insignificant, but can prove useful in the most unexpected of moments. Essentially, we do not know what will work, until we try it numerous times, and suddenly, it works.

The importance to this is that significant data only comes in while dating live, with a hot girl in front of us, reacting either positively, negatively, or confused to the words streaming from out moths. This is different than listening to an audio recording, soliciting advice from a friend, or reading  a blog post (I’m perfectly willing to sacrifice my blog traffic in the name of you going out and chatting up more women. I know, I’m a hero). Game is matter of soliciting reactions, and observing the patterns of said reactions. In the deeper understanding of these patterns, we learn what was underlying cause of the positive reaction, and we do more of the good, and less of the bad. Game, then, is developed.

Routines are a very pure form of this idea. A new routine starts with a kernel of an idea, which then gets forged in the fire of hot women on friday and saturday nights. Think Louis C.K, who develops his material literally in front of an unsuspecting audience  As for me, the kernel of a routine began one weekend  where on 3 separate occasions gay black men started to hit on me, blowing smoke up my ass, and telling me how attractive I was. Though flattering, gay black men are far from my target market but hey, I thought, women would find this incredibly entertaining. So, naturally,I told every hot girl I tried to game about this. The initial reaction was they laughter. I would describe it to them, then say “apparently I’m their type, not sure why.” This seemed to tap into some, so I changed the hook question  “Have you ever discovered that your some specific demographics type? Apparently gay black men love me”, and I would continue the story. After about 5 to 10 tellings, one girl responded, “It’s because you have a big ass (Which, for the record, I do. Woman and gay men alike love my ass. Universally loved, It’s one of my best assets.) Not only did I find this observation completely astute, it was also hysterical. The next five girls I then told this story to, I would build up to “And you know why they love me? It’s because I have a phat ass” and the laughs got even harder. Hooray, the routine builds!

At this point, my routine is quite tight, and has made its way into my repertoire. Somewhere down line I  noticed however, that some women would take the phat ass line as queue to stare at my ass. It’s all about reading the signs gentlemen, and here I sensed opportunity. My next adjustment was to then, as I pontificate on my ass that is garnering all this attention, I turn around and show it off a little lifting my shirt. Now, we have a situation where I’m in a random bar, surrounded by  1-3 girls, me turned around, shirt lifted up, the women intently staring at my ass (Which, as I mentioned earlier, is quite nice). This is good.

The above is how I created a routine live, in front of girls, catered to girls. It was proven to work based of my own experience, then tweaked for maximum effect. By going through the process by actually talking to women, I was able to quickly and effectively make adjustments for maximum effect .

There exists thousands of hours worth of advice on “Do this and get women” “say this and you will get laid”, “blah blah blah blowjob” ect, ect. Some of it is good, sound advice, and conversely, some is complete bullshit. None of the advice matters unless applied in real time whilst gaming.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else says, if you are curious as to if something works, you HAVE to try it yourself and prove it. Give yourself multiple attempts to get the kinks out, and judge as to whether this new weapon in your arsenal is worth keeping.

One of my favorite moments is when I have a student use an opener they complete think will not work in the slightest, only then the girl becomes instantly hooked. The best example I can give is the horse girl opener. (Credit Brad P.) It goes “Hey, do you like horse? I thought so, check this out. I use to know this girl  in 6th grade that LOVED horses. She used to draw them all over her notebooks, bring my pretty ponies to class, and even gallop around acting like a horse. We used to call her the weird horse girl. And the thing is… you look JUST like her. [reponse]. Now, i have to say I’m sorry.I was one of the cool kids, and I used to make fun of the horse girl all the time. Now I’m older and more mature, and I feel horrible about it. Can you forgive me?” Cue hugs.

Now, this line seems outrageous to most when read, but I want to talk a minute about a former student Jeff. When I met Jeff, he had just gotten out of a 6 year relationship. Being a college relationship, he hadn’t had any real experience with game post the drunken frat party and other general college shenenigans. He was now in the lion’s that is NYC on Friday night.  Ready to throw his hat into the ring, he wanted a leg up on the compitition, and I was the man to give it to him. I taught him the horse girl line before we went out and, though sceptical, I convince Jeff to give it a try in the field.

We walk into the bar, and there stands a lone girl against a pillar, seemingly ripe for a studly young gentleman such as Jeff to approach her.  I sent him in without a moments notice with the horse girl line cocked and ready as his opener. First approach of the night, first real cold approach in 6 years, and first time using the horse girl line, Jeff was far from in his comfort .

3 minutes pass…and… Jeff is making out with this girl.

After the conversation, in the eyes I saw the look of a mind blown. It was a truly beautiful beautiful thing. Jeff perception of what is possible completely changed in that moment because real life experience trumped what he though intellectually would work. Game is developed by actually interacting with women in different ways, and seeing what works. Hiring a coach can help cut down on the experimentation time, expediting the process, but at the end of the day it’s still the student that must stop the girl, say the line, and seeing what happens.

The Bruce Lee Of Game: Turning a Failed Date Into A New Pickup

It was on paper what was meant to be the ideal date. She was hot, I was cashing in favor owed me at a world-class jazz club for a free show/drinks/dinner, and I knew THE ENTIRE staff at the venue. I was feeling pretty damn good about all the circumstances leading into it.

As my date 5’10” perfectly toned beauty, a dancer by trade. She had tried out for Hair Spray earlier that day. I could feel the shifting of fabric in my pants simply by looking at some of her photos. We liked many of the same bands, including a pretty deep introspective text conversation on the intricacies of Cake albums. It was poised to be a home run.

Snap shot to the date. We’re at the bar. My buddy is the bar tender. We each get a glass of wine, which we learn this glass of wine is a bottomless glass of wine when given the instruction: “Just tell me when to stop pouring, otherwise I’m keeping these glasses filled.” Game on.

We begin to talk, starting with one of my strong points, music. I talk about my old band, the current effort I’m making to start a new band, and other general life philosophies. It’s my standard rap, and I’m used to women eating this kind of stuff up. I assume from her lackluster answer she was on the dryer side as far as emotional expressiveness goes (turns out, after the fact, she was dry as fucking sand paper). I keep talking, as I’ve had enough positively validation experiences to know that I can bring it conversationally, to the point where I can charm the fuck out of entire crowds of people when I get on a roll. I’m at a point in my game where I assume everything is always going fine, until its not. It is a confidence, not fronted. My game is tight.

Something was off though. I couple times I asked her questions and I got the shallow non-answers. At one point I tried to dig deep on why she left DC for NYC. Her original response was “Well, I was miserable there, and I knew I’m a happy person in NYC, so I moved”. Now, this is a week answer, and your gonna hang around me, and I want to know the real WHY’s behind significant life changes decisions. I’m innately curious about people’s motivations. I also know when someone is avoiding the issue. I pressed onwards. “so, was political atmosphere of the place, the bars, the people?” Her response – “No, just I didn’t like it”- about as empty an answer as possible.

I do what I normally do in these circumstances. If something isn’t working, try a new tactic. I keep changing the topic to no avail. She brings up her roommate whom she is texting. She explains she is the emotional sounding board for when her roommate looses it. “So you’re her confidant” I reply, and I attempt to go down that trail of conversation. She’s avidly texting her friend now, so I sit and chill. No biggie, silence is fine with me.

She goes “Hold on” and answers the phone. Again, it’s the roommate. My date runs upstairs. I assume she is going to talk down her roommate a little and come back downstairs.

So I wait…

…and I continue to wait…

…and I wait some more.

If I were a betting man, I would have put several thousands of dollars on the table to say she was going to return downstairs.

Finally, after about 10-15 minutes I go upstairs to see what the deal is. I ask the cute box office girl (more on her later). She tells me my date ran outside talking concerned to her someone, and never returned.

She ran away, mid date. Literally no sign, no excuse, she literally ghosted out on me.

Now this was a precious moment for me ego. I’ve had bathroom pulls, threesomes, multiple girls in the same day, but all these years building experience in women are for specific moments like these. I would argue that the truest measure of a man’s game is how he responds to the worst and most ego thrashing acts a women can throw his way. In this instance, the girl bolted mid date, and I’m left with my metaphorical dick in my hand surrounded by people I know well and WILL ask me what happened. How to react? What is my next move? What happened next?

I was pissed: Like, legitimately. I’ve had girls gracefully bow out of dates before, but this was literally the first time I had a date literally run away. (Without going into specific details, I can confirm she ran away from the thing and it wasn’t just an emergency). It’s big swing at my ego, and just plain old rude. I’m supposed to be a professional pick artist god damn it! Shit like this shouldn’t happen to me… but it did. It happens to everyone in fact. I deal with a pretty high volume of women in my life, and the fact of the matter is, when you fuck/date/approach large volumes of women, negative experiences will happen. Its unavoidable. If you to be a master of all things game has to offer, its inevitable. As my mentor, and boss, Brad P. would say “If you want to make an omelet, you’re going to have to break a few eggs.”

Every player has some form of this very story. I had failed in very public way. On the inside, I was on fire On the outside however, I was cool as a cucumber. When my friends asked what happened, I replied “Well, it appears she ran away. Guess I’m out a date, oh well, onto the next women!”. I then finished her glass of wine and immediately went into my next step.

I went directly into what I call ego protection mode. This was not my first rodeo, and I knew how to handle it. The task at hand is to override the negative experience with a positive one, meaning I need to prove to my mind that yes, women still like me. I started texting every fucking girl I could think to text. 2 of my rotation girls, some I met over the weekend, hell, even one girl I went on 2 dates with 4 months ago (that may even be open again as a result). I made the resolve in my head to NOT take this hit lying down.

During the intermission I openly discussed what happened with all the staff of the venue and the manager told me “Hook, there are loads of other beautiful women here for you! The one just to the left of the bar even came by herself. She’ll love you! (It’s nice to have friends that look out out for me best interest). Bottom line, I didn’t run away, I kept my night going and kept going at it. Game on

As for the aching question of “What went wrong” with this particular date, I’ll never completely know. Sometimes a girl you’ve thought you had only positive experiences with will just up and disappear/go radio silent on you and you’ll never know why. It is the cost of doing business. When I was younger I always wanted to know where I messed up. I frankly embarrassed myself in front of girls who rejected to try and discover why. Going through the ringer over and over again however, I learned most times, we will never know what specially was the break point that ended the relationship. We simply process what we learned, note it for next time, and move on. I did however have a few red flags about this girl during the date, which make me feel I may have dodged a bullet.

For example, at one point I asked, “are short guys intimated by you” , as she’s about 5’ 10”. The response, “all guys are intimated by me”. Why, I ask, and she then responds, “Because they should be”. I’m… ok then. I indulge this a little longer however. I suggest that perhaps most guys then peter out around the 3rd date. Again, a dramatic responds – “I’ve only had 2 second dates this past year.” Now, a hot single girl like this I’m sure has plenty of gentlemen callers, and no shortage of supply of what are likely pretty together men going after her. Sounds of intimacy issues to me. Moral of the story, something was going on behind the scenes with this girl, and this odd behavior probably would have only gotten worse. I haven’t lost a wink of sleep since after this girl.

Alas, this is a redemption story at the end of the day. I’ve noticed that talking about ANY dating experiences, even if completely horrible “god I can’t believe I went on that day” garners the attention of women, and I’m a very honest and candid talker when it comes to me dating life. I think it’s a sort of companionship in the battles of dating thing that goes on. Think about the other way around, I know I’m always curious to hear a hot girl go on about a crappy date she’s been on. Cue the return of the cute box office girl. As I commiserate over my failed date with her, I begin to notice… she’s interested. I propose we grab a drink after the show., she accepts.

In my head, I’m completely over my previous date. I’ve already processed the emotions, and written it off as cost of doing business. As I grab my post show drink with the box office girl, I bring it up the date prior NOT AT ALL. You know what? Neither does she. We make out a whole bunch, and guess who has a fresh date later this week?

I didn’t let adversity crush my spirit, and as a result, and turned what would have been a loss of a night into a win. A buddy of mine, a successful prosecuting attorney, once explained to me how he views situations such as these.

“A man’s true character is defined when shit goes wrong and the situation is not ideal. Greatness in a man is triumph over the adversity to which a normal man would crumble. Now, when things go wrong, I recognize it for what it is. An opportunity to truly shine.”

Don’t back down from the fight, and remember, the world working against can just as easily become the side note to your greatest triumph.

It’s The Process, Not The Person.

As my fellow warrior of the dating world I’m sure have noticed, a pretty big part of picking up women stems from the internal workings of the mind, and largely, not getting to negative. We call this “Inner game” in the biz, and a little while ago I got a bright introduction to the idea of positive psychology. Attending a workshop led by an individual with a PHD in the subject, I learned pretty in depth how the mind often works against us.

The first big takeaway I had was that as people, there are a certain % of us are pre-disposed to negative self talk, being overly self critical, and overly judgmental. It’s in the genes. That said, another small percentage is the environment we are born into. Again, something we cannot control. The last percentage, however, is the internal activity of the mind AKA, something we can control. Essentially, though some of us may be pre disposed to being overly hard on ourselves and seeing more of the gloom of life, we do have the power to over ride it. Powerful stuff. So, what to do with it? Naturally, I cherry pick what I find relevant and relate it back in a way to get all y’all laid more. What can I say? I like to give back to society.

How did I go about this? Well, I derailed the conversation, as I’m known to do time to time, and related the subject to my tennis game (See blog post “Pickup as a Craft). Having dove deep in the conversation thus far into the negative self-talk and the effect that has on performance, I brought up the other end of the spectrum, when I’m playing great. It often appears to be a self fulfilling prophecy during my tennis matches that when I start finally getting into a groove, hitting great shots, winning a slew of games in a row, and start commenting internally “wow, I’m playing real well,”… the kiss of death. It’s cue for me to start shitting the bed. Almost as if caste under a hex, those strokes so fluent just a moment before are now shanked into the net. I start missing my spots. Suddenly I’m now on the defensive, floundering, dropping couple games, all my momentum gone.

I’ve had similar experiences in pickup after some really exception sets. I’m talking heavy make-out, maybe a trip to the bathroom together, possibly even a hand job thrown into the mix. The trouble occurs after such great set when I somehow I lose the girl and the lay that night is no longer an option. I never knew why, but after such a successful set, I find myself unable to start a fresh and bring get my game back being tight. Next, I bumble, a bit satisfy with the quality set, and soon after call it a night.

Now, a random alley way hand job can be a wonderful thing, but why afterwards is my game not flowing in state as other more mild successes? My performance clearly drops, and I never realized it until this particular positive psychologist made her way into my life

Explaining my tennis dilemma to the group (This was NOT the crowd to start talking bathroom pulls with), I drove her onto perhaps the finest positive psychologist tangents I ever had the fortune of witnessing.

“It’s the idea of process versus person. We have a tendency as human being to bring our identities into our success and failures. You fail a test and say “I’m dumb”, or conversely hit a great shot and say “Wow, I’m awesome”. Problem is these take you out of a state of work and into a state of judgment. This is a person-centric approach. What the science shows is to focus on the process. An action has a result, and a process focus takes the lens off oneself, and onto whether the decision resulted in a desired outcome. Instead of saying “I’m awesome” after that winning shot, try saying “Wow, my opponent doesn’t seam to be able to handle those deep backhand’s I’m hitting his way, and coming to the net in response to directing my shot on his weakness is a pretty sound strategy so far. I will continue to do such”. (For all my tennis fans out there!) Taken for the negative case, an unforced error (aka a plain old fuckup of a shot in tennis). The person centric perspective goes “God, I suck at tennis”. The process-centric lens conversely would be “On that shot I was lazy with my footwork, didn’t get into the position, and logically shanked the shot”.

I had had an “aha”moment. The beauty of the idea came from taking personal judgment out of the equation. Failure can always be traced back to a process error if one studies the dead body and forensics long enough. Focusing on the process allows one to be positively critical of ones work, and subsequently brings thoughts to how to preform better on the next opportunity, as opposed to wallowing in self-pity.

My dear readers, I want you to think about this the next time you go out to game. Ever been out, get psyched out, pace the venue for about an hour, then go home? The mind then jumps to “Oh, I’m awful, pathetic, and will never get good at this. “

Let’s applied what we’ve learned! Where were the warm up sets? Where was the momentum? I’d say the process failure was in the approach to getting to the venue. How to adjust? Next time, try talking to a few people before arriving at the bar. Maybe even just to ask directions. Then, once you arrive have an opener ready, and be ready to use said opener 3 times. Hell, even once. If you’re struggling to get started, make the goal then just to get 1 approach in. Baby steps.

Evaluating the process leads one to making adjustments. Master is a series of thousands of small adjustments applied of years of experience. Every little improvements bring one closer to the goal. Staying process focus keeps you focused you focused on said improvements. When you get judgmental, we lose sight of that.

This is where coaching can be worth its weight in gold, as a good coach will give you the tools and frame of mind to get you rolling.

Have a problem you’re trying to wrap your head around? Comment below and I’ll weigh in on how to go about fixing it.

Or, if you want to deal with the problem as head on as possible, contact drew at drew@bradp.com for some live 1 on 1 coaching.

An Old School Review Of Hook

So below is a review I asked of a 30/30 Club student on the first day I got offered the coaching job with Brad P. The experiences he draws on are from when I was a online coach on the 30/30 forum, and Living in Kansas City. I’ve since gained a lot more live coaching experience, but Dangerous still gives me very kind words, so I thought it worth sharing.

” In full disclosure Hook has given me a place to crash occasionally, and I have asked him to be a reference for me in the past. However, this does not mean I am altering this review in exchange for any of these ways he has benefited me. I sincerely believe the following review to be true to my observations about Hook, even before he did these things for me.
When I first started out in the Brad P. 3030 program, I noticed a guy on the forums who seemed to be doing really well, and his name was Hook. I made plans to visit him in Kansas City where he was living at the time; however I thought to myself, “Could there be any good gaming going on in a out of the way place like Kansas City?” Boy was I wrong. Hook took me to some great spots and he was every bit as good as his reports on the 3030 forum indicated.

In my opinion, the 3 top qualities of Hook are: 1) Amazing identity, 2) Relaxed and chill vibe, and 3) insightful advice. Regarding his identity, his cool presence permeates an environment. He’s in a rock band, he’s a bartender, and he has artistic tattoos. When I saw Hook in field, girls were staring at Hook in a similar manner as I saw them staring at Brad P. They noticed him, they fixated on him, and it was like there is a power and confidents that draws women in to his aura. Hook exemplifies the identity work done in the Brad P. program.

Second, Hook is relaxed and chill. You would think that with his amazingly strong and cool identity, he would be elitist, snobby, etc. However, he is very down-to-earth. For me this is a great fit. I have been with other coaches where I felt more tense and things felt intense for me. Hook is very supportive and offers a safe environment to learn. This is extremely important to me in my approaching interactions. When I made mistakes in field, Hook encouraged me throughout.

Finally, Hook advice is spot on. While not clairvoyant, he was able to point out a number of issues to assist me in my development in approaching girls. He made recommendations for me that later were affirmed by the highest level professional coaches who had been coaching for decades. Not only that, Hook demonstrated some great work that I model myself after to this day. Once we approached a group of girls and Hook attempted a kiss close with one of them. She rejected his attempt. This was hugely important for me to see. It helped me understand what it looks like to just attempt to do something that I might find uncomfortable, and also how to deal with a failed attempt. Hook went on with confidence, to the very next set and it didn’t seem to faze him. He was immune to rejection and it showed in his confident continued risk taking. As I confront those things which make me hesitant, I remember this example to help me take risks, push my comfort level, and recognize that not every girl will be receptive to me. It helps me not to take rejection personally.

On the other hand, I have also seen Hook succeed spectacularly. We once approached some hot girls who were in college. I had my girl and Hook had his. We took them to a dance venue and Hook had his girl giving him all sorts of sexual success there as well as her phone number. Hook’s success is well-deserved and well earned. I also believe Brad P. 3030 club is lucky to have him as a coach as he is a solid gem. It is my pleasure to vouch for and recommend Hook very highly as a coach. I would not hesitate to recommend that anyone take a 1 on 1 with him and learn from him. “

Crossing the Borders to Make the Map

Today we have GPS systems the size of an iPhone sitting in our pockets at all moments educating us as to where we are, where we may be attempting to go, and even what train to take to get there. Frankly, we’re spoiled as fuck. Travel back in time with me to the colonial days, when the british first stumbled upon the western world, and had not a clue as to where the hell they were. You can bet they had zero idea where any borders, rivers, oceans, mountains, or anything for that matter really were.

How did they discover where all the borders existed? They stepped into unknown and uncertainty with nothing a will to explore and created the maps themselves. These brave men risked everything, often times their lives in the name of discovery. They paved the way to create the grand nation that now exits. They showed others where the resources lie, and sometimes unpleasant experiences went into their great discovies.

Now, what does this have to do with picking up chic’s whatsoever? Well, in one’s dating life, it’s up to us to create their map to success. When starting out, we are the new where the borders or of when we can get a phone number, make out with a girl, or shove her hands down our pants. We do not know when such moments are upon us. Hence, we must be bold, try, and fail over and over again. Let me get specific for a moment.

When is the right time to ask for a phone number? Well, what is the best route to get to california. Settlers didnt have maps, so they literally tried over and over again, gradually improving the route each time until the most efficient route was found. So, the answer is to ask every fricking girl you talk to for her phone #. Yes, you will be turned down. A lot, in fact, but something magical happens in this process. Some people start saying yes, and you recognize why. Then you start seeing when that pretty girl is on the fence. The first time you blow it. Then the next time she’s on the fence, your ready for it. You’ve got a plan this time, and you get that questionable phone number. Eventually, you been at the border so many times, you know every nook and cranny of the map. You intuitivly know when the time is right, then you start timing it for when its most smooth, most ideal, you master the skill as you’ve learned where the line is. Then you start pushing the boundary further and further.

We must be the settlers of our dating lives blazing the trail of what is possible.

You’re Better Than You Think You Are

I was a lowly white belt at the time, rolling with a seasoned veteran who had just earned his brown, and he was having his way with me on the jiu jitsu mat. We had been going at it (not that way, you perverts) when at one point, he abruptly stopped me to make a point.

“Hook, I can feel you when you have an opportunity to make a move, and you hesitate, don’t pull the trigger, then the opportunity is gone by the time you go for it. That’s never going to work for you”

I responded back with some random jabber along the lines that it was futile, because he was so much better than me, that these moves wouldn’t ever succeed. This really got him irate.

“No, your wrong. You’re instincts are right, and you should be going for those moves. That fact that you’re thinking in such direction is a sign that your heads in the right place…”

Then he dropped this bomb.

Trust instincts and go for a bold move. Doubting your abilities keep you from trying an aggressive moves. Those moves, though they may not work at the time, are what one day will win you matches. You’re better than you think you are.

Cue my mind being blow.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about this speech I received years ago. At a time, I was training at Jiu Jitsu 2-4 times a week training for a competition (I got 3rd for the white belts. It was pretty dope, I still have the metal :)) This is heavily applicable to my game now, as where I stand, I have a 3 girl rotation. I no longer need sex, as I’m getting laid more than I actually would desire (few things can get between a girl and the already accepted D she is craving). More quantity is low on my list of desires.

I’m going elitist with my game(something I would only recommend once you get a full rotation) and approaching 8’s, 9’s, and 10’s exclusively.

Now, when I see a 10 waiting at the same subway stop as I am, I still can get a little psyched out. I mean I’m busy, she’s probably busy, and she’s sooo hot she MUST have some other guy yadda yadda yadda yadda.

What I realized is I was making the same mistake as that day in the Jiu Jitsu mat. When you start to get good at anything, your instincts are their, but they can blurred with doubt and thoughts of failure, particular when faced a opponent who we expect defeat as we percieve them as superior.(A brown belt, or a 10.) It’s in these moments, I take a step back, catch mind fear lying to my mind, trust my instincts, and go for it.

The last 5 perfect 10’s I approached I was nervous jumping into. I went back to the basics though, trusted my skills, and used the same opener/attract routine/ kino I’ve used girl after girl after girl, and you know what? All that material still works. They laugh, I grin, I hand them my phone, they enter their number.

I forget how good I’ve gotten at this at times, and until I try with the hottest girls in the toughest sets, I won’t know how good I am, and how great I can be.

Trust your gut and go with it gentlemen, you’re better than you think.