What landed me the job with Brad P. as a coach, asides from getting my student in the teaching section of the tryout laid, was the demeanor I possessed for my demo approaches. There was not a second of hesitation in them. I went in bold guns a blazing every time. In my boldness, I give off an air of “I can do anything”. I’ve gamed women enough that I know this is bar far the best approach, and it’s hardwired into at this point. Consequently, many descriptions of my game I’ve heard include something along the lines of “fearless in the approach”. This always comes as sort of a surprise to me.
When I begin to think back on the approaches I preformed in their presence, I then understand why they would make such a comment. Some of my approaches can get pretty wild, and I definitely have flamboyance to me. It’s not the validity of their statement that surprises me. The reason is, internally, me being fearless is the complete opposite of what’s really going on inside my head. Sometimes, I’m plain old scared shitless with my heart pounding a mile a minute. The difference between me and every other man on the street is that feeling never stops, but actually motivates me. It’s something I learned many years earlier, in a seemingly unrelated field.
I studied engineering in college. Coming into it, I was so completely filled with bravado. High school was a breeze, and I was assuming an engineering degree would be the same little thing I had to do between parties. As a result, I completely slacked my butt off, hung out all the time, and then acted surprise when I didn’t ace the test. In retrospect, it was a lesson. I had to learn about work ethic and the daily grind it takes to master something that not all can, and in the case of engineering many fail at.
Shortly after my sophomore I had a reckoning. I bombed out one semester, having my GPA dropped so severely that I lost my academic scholarship. Consequently, I had a complete fucking meltdown in self-confidence and belief in my own intelligence. The next semester was a struggle. The people who I thought I was smarter than, or at least on par with intellectually, were getting the high grades in tricky engineering classes I wasn’t. I feared that maybe I was not smart enough to crack engineering. I would call my dad when my particular freak out was overwhelming and I needed a calming voice. There was one line he would repeat on such occasions.
“A little bit of fear is a good thing, so long as it’s not paralyzing.”
It was exactly what I needed to hear, an ethos I now try to embrace in all pursuits my life has to offer. It was the exact advice needed in my state of uncertainty. During the struggle that was Junior, I completely dedicated all I had to regain my scholarship, drastically changing habits. My intent was clear as day. I became a regular at the library (a first), made consistent effort to comprehend and stay ahead of the HW, and bumped getting good grades to my #1 priority. As the grades started coming in, the grades slowly crept higher and higher. I began to gain momentum, I finally had what it took to prepare for finals period an appropriate amount. I nailed it, made deans for the first time ever, and managed to earn my scholarship back.
The fear of thinking I may not what it takes WAS the motivation I needed to completely overhaul my lifestyle. Ego and money were at stack, and I did not want to back down. I pondered long and deep that semester, and determined that if I was going to fail, it was not going to be for lack of effort.
I wouldn’t know the lasting effects of my efforts until months later, nor was any certainty that my change of strategy would work. I HAD to try though, for the other option, doing nothing, was unacceptable to me. It turned out that the fear of me not being good enough dwarfed in comparison to my fear of not putting in the effort to make the necessary changes to conquer this problem.
I made the deans list for the first time that semester, and more importantly, I had fundamentally rewired my brain with the strategies and protocols to get A’s in all my classes. If I didn’t receive an A, I could from that semester on pinpoint exactly why it didn’t happen. I would still feel the pressure as difficult tests loomed, but I knew the work that had to be done. I would make deans list 3 of my final 4 semesters.
When I see that perfect 10, or a group of 6 hotties, or any other difficult set for that matter, I still have butterflies in my stomach. Those butterflies I’m confident will never go away, as it is uncertain as to whether the approach will have any success to it. Fortunately, like with my grades, I KNOW what I have to do if I want the chance of success. I have to open bold, use my routines and material that work, and take a risk and commit to a strong aggressive approach as best I can. Experience taught me this is the price that must be paid to get these beautiful women in my bed. No amount of fear can trump this deep-seated truth I know about approaching women. It’s hard wired in me.
Thinking back to my coaching tryout, I was NERVOUS AS SHIT. A had a gaggle of brad P coaches observing my every approach, and I was explicitly told “If you start out in the field, and you do not approach well, we’re just going to end the tryout and not waste anyone’s time”. When I left the group for demo approach one, my heart was pounding. If 2 approaches in I was stopped and told I didn’t have what it takes to be a Brad P coach, my ego would be crushed.
Fortunately experience taught me what I had to do. First set I saw, I dove in head first, and used the very same material that’s worked and gotten me laid over and over and over again. I didn’t bat an eye, come in bold, guns a blazing, leaving everything I had on the table. It worked. Every set but one gave me their phone # that day, and I’m still dating one of my approaches from that day. My heightened state ended up having an effect of strengthening my approaches. The knowledge learned in my thousands of approaches hour after hour came through right when I needed it most.
The scary thing about starting a new endeavor is that you do not have the experience yet to know that there is going to even be a payoff your efforts. I had only hope and faith my first ever-cold approach. There will be fear, its inescapable for any pursuit worthwhile. What I fear most though is doing nothing, then nothing changing. Teddy Roosevelt said life favors the bold. The bold still experience fear, they just manage to rangle the wild bull that is fear, riding it to the glories of success.